Let’s talk about this like adults

It was easy for me to start blogging. Everything was new, exciting, scary, interesting… raw. I truly believed there was something for me to conquer, and dammit I was going to conquer it.

Well folks, the battlefield’s a bit larger than expected. And eventually, things stopped being fresh and exhilarating. At times they even became stale. Stuffy. Slow. And when that happened for a short blip, I didn’t think my life was interesting enough to write about. Because I’m so used to my routines, my walks along the canal, beers at my favorite brewery…

But you’re not. You’re working or studying in the states, doing your own thing in another European country, maybe working on some awesome television show in NYC (hey Jenji) I don’t know. Whatever life you’re living, it’s not mine. Whatever daily routine you have, it’s not accompanied by my sarcastic quips and cute cynicism.

So hey, I’m back now. I’m telling this to you, but more to myself. And I’ve got plenty to say. Most of which can be summed up with the word baklava. Hint: I haven’t been to Greece.

I’m here, I’m here, I swear

Before I catch you up, I’d just like to apologize to all of my die-hard fans who I’ve left in the cold for the past few weeks. I knew there’d be a lull or two in the constant posts after a while, and lately, it’s been tough to get myself to return to sarcastic quip mode. Anyhow, I’m back and ready with an interview. If you read my post from Florence, I was quoted by Ba-Ba-Black-Sheep (a pseudonym), a snooty art critic who, it’s been rumored, has slept with the entire cast of Orange is the New Black. So, although I’m extremely jealous and although she basically sucks, when she called to ask for an interview, I had no choice but to agree. Find it below.

What was the first thing you did when you arrived?

Joined the nearest gym. And bought a pillow. Simultaneously.

Where are all of your pictures?

No comment.

Wait, no, comment. I don’t experience my life in pictures, but the fact that my Facebook profile lacks 8 billion photos illustrating to the world all the fun/crazy/amazing times I’m having does make me anxious about NOT snapping that drunk pic with my shitty phone camera. However, I’ve found a solution: disposable cameras. I will be purchasing one. Eventually. Yes, I know they can be pricey, but they’re cheaper here. (My budget almost always justifies any strange decisions I make due to price.)

Have you mastered any skills?

Fitting all of my groceries into my little backpack, putting on my gloves, and pulling out my bike key fast enough that the Check Out Lady has only gotten to the third person behind me in line. I began at the sixth. (Grocery shopping here = stressful) 

How do you feel you’ve changed thus far?

SIDENOTE: My mom told me that she thought my blog was getting “a little glib” so I’m going to be serious with this one.

I had no clue what I was heading into when I left for Europe in December. Traveling had always been this romanticized image, something I’d seen in movies. So to get to this strange place, know nobody, and for the first time not have an ‘out’… was a complete shock. But I got used to it. The small fridges. The importance of coins. Not walking aimlessly into the bike lane. Facetiming my sister, actually seeing her, instead of robotically calling her on my walk home from campus. These things now make up my new life… and that’s totally cool with me. I’m even starting to dig this wifi-only lifestyle. And my crappy dutch flip phone. (I remember my Dutch phone number now…) 

But honestly, being abroad has also made me a more confident person. Being able to navigate foreign trains and streets on your own is empowering, even when it’s via Google Maps on your *insert apple product here.* Biking on the streets of Amsterdam with the rest of the Dutch population is a high in itself. So why are you always stoned? (Sorry, that was my mom’s assumed interjection.)

Have you made any friends?

Who needs friends when you’ve got a bike and a local brewery 5 minutes away? But yes, I have. Like super intelligent, interesting friends who all have/ want/ or are completely against nose piercings. But when I REALLY wanna have a good time, I’ll meet up with Black and White at this rock-n-roll bar called the Waterhole. They’re these two refuge Dutch cows fleeing their life sentences—super cool, left-wing protestors who are currently anti-squatting in Amsterdam South. But like just so ya know runaway cows are pretty common in the Netherlands because it’s slowly becoming more popular to pray to cheese instead of god here. Weird, right?